Listen, Honey. We need to have a hard conversation. It’s about what you owe to yourself and your magic. If you’ve been spending your time avoiding all of the ways that you release the truest expression of yourself into the world, take this to heart. 

What do I mean by magic? I’m so glad you asked! By magic I mean:

• Your voice

• Your genius

• Your story

• Your song

• Your uniqueness

• Your perspective

• Your inspiration

• Your ideas

That list goes on. You get the idea. You can’t hold these things hostage in your mind or soul or body. Well, I mean, you can, but hostage situations get hairy. SWAT gets called, and you have to negotiate, the news vans come, 0/10, do not recommend.

When I find myself avoiding self-care, quiet time, social commitments, personal development, or anything that helps me reveal and discover deeper insights about myself, this is a red flag that I’m keeping my voice, my light, my magic under wraps. All of this, and I feel like I never get any time to myself, because I’m inadvertently, yet purposefully, avoiding time to myself. 

Ever feel so busy that your busyness is a way of life? Yeah, me too. There’s a lot to be said for success living in the things you schedule into your day. That’s true, always be taking action, even if it’s messy, imperfect, or awkward. But in those schedules, creating the time for quiet, to hear yourself think, and to observe and hold space for your feelings is important.

Have you noticed yourself waving this red flag? If you’re “too busy” for self-reflection, you need to schedule that in, no excuses. You’ll become the more peaceful, confident, and bolder version of yourself when you treat your own care as a non-negotiable, just as you would the time to care for others. 

And becoming the more peaceful, confident, and bolder version of yourself is vital here when discovering and sharing your unique perspective with the world. To know yourself is to have more confidence in your values, spend less time making decisions about what you want or need to do in a situation, and to feel at peace about what you choose. You get to know you! In turn, you get to let others know you too. Lucky us, because your light shines for us to see, and your voice is a guide for all of us to also become braver, calmer, and reach out to share ourselves with others. 

Can you see how that would exponentially grow, and improve the lives of our communities? Everyone knowing themselves, and our feelings, and reaching out to create relationships? The real intimacy in life comes from listening to our own compasses, and developing connections as we find our ways together.

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling like I have a story that would empower people, if I would just tell it. But opening up is like an overwhelming blank page that you’re supposed to fill with assertions about yourself, and about life… What if I’m wrong? What if I come across as ridiculous? Who the hell wants to hear this anyway? WHO CARES, BETSY?!

The short answer is, people don’t know they care until you share what you’re going through. And yeah, blank pages can be terrifying. It’s like the first time you talk yourself into going live on social media, or making a reel, or heaven forbid, speaking in public. It can be a very deer-in-headlights situation. But just for a moment. You’ve gotta work through those moments to get to the good stuff. On the other side of that panicky feeling, you’ve got so much to discover as you share your story.

Create the habits.

• Schedule the me-time. Put it in your calendar with everything else if you have to.

• Do it consistently.

• Discover you, hold space for your thoughts and perspectives. Learn what you stand for and what’s important to you. Build confidence, power, and peace within yourself.

• Get through the deer-in-headlights moments.

• Share your stories and songs. Show others your light, and give them the space to grow too.